Supporting Little Hearts Through Grief and Loss

When a child loses someone they love, their way of showing grief can be very different from an adult. Some kids cry openly while others keep their feelings hidden inside. Some play as if nothing has changed, only to ask the big questions out of the blue. That does not mean they are not feeling the loss. It means they are finding their own way to deal with the hurt, often changing minute to minute.

At Madonna Multinational Funeral Home, we understand how important it is for children and teens to feel seen and supported when someone close to them dies. Supporting little hearts through grief and loss means helping families understand how young ones process loss, while providing gentle and thoughtful ways they can express emotions and remember the ones they have lost.

Support and care can be provided to children who are experiencing grief when adults understand their experience. As a result, children feel that they can express their emotions safely through simple, meaningful activities.

How Children Understand Loss at Different Ages
Kids understand death in different ways depending on their age. Knowing what is typical for each stage can help adults respond in a more caring way.

• Ages 2-4
  Children at this stage may not fully understand that death is permanent. They may believe the person will return, and ask questions about where they are and when they will be home.
• Ages 5-9
  School-aged children begin to realize that death is final, but may think it only happens to certain people. They may ask more practical questions about what happens to the body or worry about who will take care of them.
• Ages 10-12
  Older kids understand that death is permanent. They may ask what happens after death and express concern for their own safety or that of loved ones.
• Teenagers
  Teens understand death a lot like most adults, but they may be troubled with deeper questions about the meaning of life and their future. Some want to talk openly with their friends and family, while others may withdraw and keep to themselves. Many hide their emotions to try and protect others, such as their parents or siblings, from more pain.

These age-related patterns are not set rules, but they help adults know what to expect from children and teens. This insight is supported by research from The Dougy Center: The National Center for Grieving Children & Families and The American Academy of Pediatrics, both of which help to provide guidance and understanding into how young people process grief.

Statistics on Childhood Bereavement in the U.S.
Nearly 1 in 11 children in the United States – approximately 6.4 million kids – will experience the death of a parent or sibling by the time they turn 18, according to the 2025 Childhood Bereavement Estimation Model (CBEM) report by Judi’s House and the New York Life Foundation.

When we recognize just how many children are touched by grief, it reminds us why the support of family, schools, and the community is so important. This understanding naturally leads to the question: What are some of the most meaningful ways we can be there for little hearts during such a difficult time?

Ways to Support Little Hearts Through Grief
As adults gain a better understanding of the child’s perspective, they are able to offer guidance and comfort to him or her through consistent care strategies.

• Talk to Them Clearly
  When explaining a loss, the words we use matter. Children feel more secure when they hear language they can understand. Using phrases like “passed away” or “not coming back” is clearer and less frightening than saying things you may see as harmless, such as “went to sleep,” which can sometimes cause anxiety around bedtime. Clear, kind words give children a foundation to help them process their feelings without added confusion.
• Include Them in Meaningful Moments
  Even small tasks in memorial activities can help a child feel connected and important. They might place a flower on a casket, select the photos to be displayed at the service, or simply spend time nearby with a trusted adult. Including them helps them understand the significance of the event while making them feel included and a part of everything happening around them.
• Encourage Questions
  Children often have many questions, some of which will be more difficult for adults to answer. Encourage them to ask whatever is on their minds, and respond with simplicity and honesty. Saying something as simple as, “Anytime you have questions or want to talk about whatever is on your mind, I’m here for you.” This shows children that their curiosity and feelings are safe to let out.
• Keep Familiar Routines
  Consistency can be calming during uncertain times. Keeping regular meal times, school schedules, playdates, and bedtime routines helps children feel that life continues to have structure, even during grief.
• Get Creative
  It is not always easy for kids to share grief in words. Drawing, writing,scrapbooking, painting, or storytelling provide safe ways to express big emotions. Creativity helps emotions become something tangible they can handle.
• Accept the Good and The Bad Feelings
  Grief is not easy for anyone, especially for little hearts. It can appear in many different ways. Children may feel sadness, anger, relief, confusion, or even guilt. Reminding them that all of these feelings are completely normal and okay can bring comfort. When their emotions are validated, little hearts feel seen and understood.
• Display Healthy Emotions
  Children often learn by observing the adults around them. When they see caregivers experiencing sadness but continuing with daily routines and offering comfort, they learn that emotions can coexist with stability. Displaying healthy ways to handle grief teaches children that it is natural to feel a mix of emotions and that support is close by when they need it.

These approaches provide children with a sense of security, understanding, and support as they try to figure out how to handle their emotions through the loss of a loved one.

Signs a Child May be Struggling
Even when you do everything by the book, show up for your little one, and fully support them, some children may still struggle with expressing grief in healthy ways. Watching for these signs can help families know when additional help may be needed.

• Trouble sleeping or frequent nightmares
• Changes in appetite
• Headaches, stomach aches, or other unexplained physical pain
• Difficulty paying attention or falling behind in school
• Not engaging with friends or family like they used to do
• Constantly worrying about the safety of others
• Irritability or sudden angry behavior

Families do not have to support children through grief on their own. If certain behaviors seem familiar and begin to affect your child’s daily life, reaching out to a counselor or a professional who specializes in grief can make a difference. Pairing this support with trusted national and local resources can also provide guidance and reassurance for both you and your child.

Local Resources in and around Passaic County, NJ

• Good Grief Inc. offers Free programs for children, teens, and families to share their experiences with others who understand.
• Passaic ResourceNet connects families to grief counselors, peer support groups, and community services for children.
• Grace Wellness and Recovery Center provides an eight-week grief recovery group for children and families.

National Resources Families Can Access Anywhere

• The Dougy Center .Support programs, guides, and toolkits for grieving children and their families.
• National Alliance for Children’s Grief provides directories of grief support centers, educational materials, and school resources.
• Comfort Zone Camp. Free camp programs for grieving children and teens with in-person and virtual options in multiple states.
• Sesame Workshop- Grief. Interactive tools, videos, and guides to help very young children understand and talk about loss.

Madonna Multinational Funeral Home Can Help
At Madonna Multinational Funeral Home, our care is focused on supporting both adults and little hearts through the experience of grief and loss. While families are focused on each other, our team offers a calm and compassionate presence. We recognize that children and teens grieve in their own ways and are here to make sure those ways are respected. If your family is facing loss, let us be here for you. We offer care that honors both children and adults in their grief.