The Difference Between an Obituary and a Eulogy

When a family begins making funeral arrangements, the words “obituary” and “eulogy” can come up pretty quickly. Both are connected to remembering someone who has passed away, but they are not the same thing. An obituary is usually written and shared publicly. A eulogy is spoken during a service or gathering.

This matters when families are trying to organize service information, gather names, include the right details, and decide who may speak. Many families also have relatives contributing memories from different households, states, or countries, which can make the writing process feel less straightforward.

Understanding how each one is used can help families prepare with more clarity and fewer last-minute questions. 

What an Obituary Is Intended to Do

An obituary is a written notice that shares information about a person’s passing, their life, and upcoming funeral or memorial arrangements. It is commonly published through a funeral home, website, local newspaper, social media page, or memorial platform so extended family, friends, coworkers, and community members can stay informed. Many funeral home websites also maintain an online obituary section where families and friends can view service information, leave condolences, share memories, and access updates in one central location.

Most obituaries include:

• Full name
•  Date of passing
•  Basic life background
•  Immediate family information
•  Funeral or memorial service details
•  Charitable donation information, if applicable

Some families prefer to keep an obituary short and direct. Others like to include personal stories, religious references, career accomplishments, hobbies, military service, or community involvement. In Passaic and surrounding North Jersey communities, some families may also choose to include both English and Spanish within the obituary so relatives in multiple locations can easily understand service information.

An obituary also serves a practical role during funeral planning. Service dates, cemetery information, viewing hours, and livestream details are often communicated through the obituary itself. Families sometimes discover that different relatives are working from separate versions of dates, names, or service schedules, especially when arrangements are being coordinated across different households or even different countries. Madonna Multinational Funeral Home’s online obituary section can also be viewed through its website in both English and Spanish, which helps families and friends access service information in the language they are most comfortable using. 

What a Eulogy Is Meant to Express

A eulogy is spoken during a funeral, memorial service, wake, or religious gathering. While an obituary focuses on sharing information publicly, a eulogy focuses more on personal reflection and memory.

A family member, close friend, clergy member, or other important person in the individual’s life may speak about experiences, traditions, relationships, or qualities that stood out over time.

Many people assume a eulogy needs to sound formal or perfectly written, but that is not what others remember afterward. The most effective eulogies often sound personal, specific, and natural to the person giving them.

A eulogy may include:

• Personal memories
• Family traditions
• Religious or cultural references
• Stories from different stages of life
• Humor when appropriate
• Reflections about relationships and personality

Some speakers prepare several pages of thoughts, while others speak only briefly. It is also common for someone to begin writing a eulogy and later realize that reading it publicly may feel more difficult than emotionally expected. In those situations, another relative, clergy member, or funeral professional may help present the remarks during the service.

Why Families Sometimes Confuse the Two

Obituaries and eulogies are closely connected to memorial services, so it is understandable that families may blend the two together during early planning conversations.

The difference usually becomes clearer once arrangements begin moving forward and initial emotions have had time to settle, allowing practical considerations to come into focus.

An obituary functions more as a public announcement and source of service information. A eulogy becomes part of the service itself and reflects personal experiences that may not appear in a published notice.

For example, an obituary may explain that someone spent decades working in Passaic County, remained active within their church or community, and is survived by specific family members. A eulogy, on the other hand, might include a story about how they greeted neighbors every morning, the traditions they maintained during family get-togethers, the sense of humor they were known for, or other personal memories that help listeners remember who they were beyond the basic facts of their life.

Both are important, but they serve different purposes.

Writing During a Busy and Emotional Period

It can catch people off guard to realize just how many decisions start happening within the first few days after a death. Along with selecting services, communicating with relatives, reviewing paperwork, and coordinating schedules, written materials also begin taking shape quickly. 

That timing can make writing the obituary and eulogy feel more difficult than expected.

In some situations, one family member handles the obituary while several others contribute stories or notes for a eulogy. In larger families, multiple people may want certain accomplishments, relationships, or traditions included, which can make organizing information a bit more complicated.

There is no single format everyone follows.

Some obituaries remain highly traditional and direct. Others feel more in-depth and personal. Someeulogies are deeply religious, while others focus more on family stories, humor, or shared experiences. For multicultural families, language preferences, overseas relatives, and faith traditions may all shape how these materials are written and shared.

The goal is not to make it perfect. It is to create something that feels accurate, personal, and meaningful for the person being remembered and the loved ones they leave behind.

The Role Funeral Homes Play

Funeral homes are frequently involved in reviewing obituary information, organizing service details, coordinating publication timing, and helping families prepare materials before Services take place.

At Madonna Multinational Funeral Home, families usually arrive with many different details they want to share. Verifying names, dates, clergy information, cemetery details, and service schedules becomes especially important when arrangements involve international communication or bilingual announcements.

Some families already know exactly what they would like to have written. Others simply need help organizing thoughts into a format that feels clear and appropriate for publication and public speaking.

That support may include:

• Reviewing obituary drafts
• Coordinating obituary publication
• Formatting service information
• Assisting with bilingual communications
• Helping organize the speaking order during services 

People generally feel less overwhelmed by the process once they understand the different purposes of an obituary and a eulogy, making it easier to decide what information belongs in each.

Both contribute something different during the planning process.

For families making funeral arrangements in Passaic, Bergen County, Essex County, Morris County, and surrounding North Jersey communities, understanding that distinction helps reduce confusion and makes conversations surrounding funeral planning more organized.

Those seeking guidance with obituary preparation, memorial service coordination, or funeral planning can learn more by speaking with the staff at Madonna Multinational Funeral Home.